My Story
I grew up in a small suburb outside of Tel Aviv, Israel at a relatively peaceful time in the country’s complex and often violent history. Still rattled by the multi-generational impact of wars, there was hope in the air for peace, and political stability. My own childhood was spent surrounded with family and friends, playing with the neighbourhood kids, and stopping only for the afternoon siesta time.
Three weeks before my 14th birthday my life turned upside down as my parents, frustrated with the political climate in Israel, moved our family to Vancouver, Canada. My first time out of my small town, meant moving to a brand new world.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that experience would set me on an incredible path of self-discovery that would lead me to uncovering my unique gifts.
When I arrived at my new home everything was different. It was as if someone had yanked me out of one dimension, and dropped me into another. I had lost my home, my culture, my language, my family as I knew it, and so much more. It was all gone.
Once those all disappeared, I ceased to exist.
Or so I thought at the time.
I wondered around in a daze, for years. Not knowing who I was, and trying on different masks. I searched for my true identity in different relationships, social groups, and labels. I found parts of myself through trial and error (mostly error). But never the core of who I was. Never the true-ness that one feels when all they know is one way of being.
You see, the burst of my childhood bubble gave me an incredible opportunity to see beyond what I thought was a given. To question everything. I am truly grateful for that pain, because it had shown me more than just my own strength – it showed me that I am NOT the places, the people, and the stories that surround me.
I am much much more than that.
Those years of looking at reality from the outside- in, increased an already existing fascination with the human Mind and Spirit. I read everything I could at the time, that had been written by people with similar questions to my own. And when I was finally old enough to learn what I CHOSE to learn in school (University) I studies Psychology, Sociology, Criminology, Social Behaviour, Neurology, Kinesiology, and many other ‘ologies’ that have to do with human nature. Later on I delved into the Spirit through studying many religions, ParaPsychology (beyond the Ego), Quantum Physics, Past-Life Regressions, and much more.
Today I incorporate all of that into my work.
This wonderful work that I do is my gift. My responsibility is to share that gift with as many people as I can.
That is clear to me.
One of the main ways that I share my gift is by helping my clients remove the Traumas, Beliefs, and Patterns that get in the way of THEM discovering THEIR OWN unique gifts. So that they can share those gifts with as many people as THEY can.
When you truly discover your own gifts – and by that I don’t necessarily mean ‘what you do well’ (though that is often a part of it), I mean ‘WHAT GIVES YOU JOY’ – then you are truly living the life you are meant to live.
You are spreading Love, and joy in your own unique way, and with your own unique flavour, which is EXACTLY what your purpose is.
This life is a process of discovery, of learning, of finding your strength and most importantly – YOUR JOY.
I am honoured to be a small part of that process for so many people.
With Love,
Tami
My beliefs
My brand of counselling is a culmination of my training, my personal experience, my own therapy, and over 1,000 hours i have spent learning from my clients. These are nine of my beliefs about human nature that play a central role in my counselling:
We are whole. We are made of mind (thoughts, perceptions), body (feelings, and physical sensations such as heaviness in the chest, or a lump in the throat), and spirit (our connection to something greater than us- community, love, God). Much like the different organs in the human body, our mind body and spirit are connected and effected by each other. Our wellbeing is dependent on the alignment of the three (ever had your heart wanting something and your mind wanting a different thing?), their healthy functioning (calm, flexible, and purposeful), and our relationship with them (do you tend to ignore uncomfortable feelings or try to befriend them?)
We are social beings. We can not survive (and certainly not thrive) in isolation. Relationships are the cornerstone of our existence, from the moment we are born to the moment we die. Every learning occurs within the framework of relationship. We get wounded in relationship, and we must heal in relationship.
Kindness is the best medicine. Social interest (doing good in the world) has incredible beneficial qualities for both the individual giving and the individual receiving (not to mention humanity in general). It shifts the focus away from your own suffering and displeasure, releases oxytocin (feel good chemical), and engages the mesolimbic system in your brain that is in charge of rewards and other good stuff.
Most of our understanding of life and the world around us is constructed in the primary years (age 0-7). This is quite unfortunate as you think about how skewed a child’s understanding of life is (‘I am the centre of the universe’). This understanding of the world stays relatively stable through life and is responsible for many of our difficulties
We can change our brain. When i was in graduate school, i was taught that the brain is the only organ in the human body that can not regrow cells. Fifteen years later, we now know that this is not true. Research about Neuroplasticity (a new term that means the ability of the brain to change itself) has exploded in the last decade. We know that through experience (thought, feeling and behaviour) we can change the wiring in our brain that is responsible for how we think, feel, and experience the world. The different wirings in our brain are like muscles that can be strengthened or atrophied and it is up to us to choose which connections we want to make stronger and which weaker.
We are evolutionarily wired to avoid pain- that is the reason for much of our suffering. A very sensible instinct- if something is going to hurt you or at its worst, kill you, you should probably stay away from it. The problem is that this very clever instinct does not only stop us from walking into traffic it also pushes us to avoid emotional pain (that must be felt in order to be released) and mental anguish (that gets worse the more we deny it). We have filled our lives with devices that help us stay distracted from our experience in the moment (ever pull out your phone when you’re waiting in line at the store?). And we have developed numerous disorders, obsessions, and addictions that possess us and push us to smoke, drink, eat, watch porn, or take drugs. Anything other than feel the boredom, sadness, anger, numbness, and shame.
Mindfulness is the key to wellness. Mindfulness is the practice of being present with your thoughts and feelings without analyzing, judging or reacting to them. The ability to sit mindfully is like a muscle that needs to be exercised regularly or it atrophies. Our emotional suffering takes place in our heads, even when we have physical pain most of our negative experience comes from our thoughts and feelings about that physical pain. With a strong mindfulness muscle, our mind is able to starve off these negative thoughts and feelings until they no longer effect us. You don’t need to be a yogi on a mountain top to enjoy the benefits of mindfulness. Even just a little bit of regular practice (5 minutes a day) can help change the wiring in your brain to be more resilient, calm, and objective.
We all have lessons that we must learn. We chose these lessons for ourselves because we knew we were strong enough to overcome their difficulty. It has been a true honour of mine to walk alongside many clients as they learn their unique lessons.
Medication should always be combined with therapy. With the increase in anxiety and depressant disorders in recent years doctors are prescribing, patients are taking (and the pharmaceutical companies are rejoicing) numerous types of medications. There are situations when medication is invaluable such as when a person is distraught to the point when they can no longer do the things that make them feel better. In those situations medication can help minimize the symptoms that get in the way of healing. But aside from providing temporary relief by minimizing symptom (which is definitely valuable) the issue that caused the dis-order is still very much alive and well and still needs to be addressed. Therapy can help heal the wound itself and provide long lasting relief. As a general rule of thumb , you don’t want to use medication to avoid a bad feeling. Instead you want to use it to minimize a bad feeling so that you are strong enough to address it.
My Education
✓ Bachelors of Psychology from Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, British Columbia
✓ Masters of Clinical Psychology from the Adlerian School of Professional Psychology in Vancouver, BC and Chicago, Illinois
✓ EMDR Practitioner Diploma. Vancouver, BC
✓ Multiple Certifications in Clinical Hypnotherapy.
✓ Certificate in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
✓ Training in Life Coaching
✓ Training in Hakomi
✓ Training in Focusing
✓ Training in Solution Focused Therapy
✓ Training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
✓ Training in Mindfulness Therapy
✓ Training in Sensori Motor Therapy
✓ Training in Crisis Intervention
✓ Training in Gottman Relationship Therapy
✓ Training in Body Centered Psychotherapy
I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) bound by the regulation of the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors (BCACC). RCC#2102