Self Esteem in its essence, is an internal map of who you are, and what is your worth as an individual.
This internal map is composed of internal dialogue, imagery, auditory ‘soundbites’ and other sensory components of certain memories that, due to their negative intensity were registered in your Nervous System as ‘important’ (often highly intensive, and negatively interpreted memories will have this quality).
One of the most important aspects of these memories is the Unconscious Negative Beliefs about ourselves that are created alongside them, and are imprinted into our Nervous System.
The Unconscious Negative Beliefs are negative conclusions we draw about ourselves following an interpretation of a negative event in our immediate environment (often between the ages of 0-6 when our brain is in Theta-Alpha brain wave state). These beliefs will generate our internal dialogue, which in turn create our feelings and body sensations. Throughout our life, these beliefs, alongside their thoughts, feelings and body sensations created habitual patterns of being your Self-Esteem.
Unconscious Negative Beliefs are beliefs that have been:
- Generalized to our over-all worth (for example, a 6 year old who breaks a crayon while drawing a picture may conclude that he is dangerous and must be in control to not hurt things or people)
- Internalized to negatively reflect on the individual (for example, a 2 year old that sees her mother crying and tries to make her smile, but is unable to may conclude that it’s her fault that mom is still crying).
- Unconscious/Subconscious, meaning that it is not a conscious, active process of ‘ believing’ but rather it is more of a ‘knowing’. For example: a child that grows up with a parent who is, due to health conditions unable to meet the child’s emotional needs (presence, attunement, validation…) may internalize the circumstance to mean that he/she (the child) is in some way unworthy of love. When the child grows up and is ready for intimate relationships, he/she may be fearful of commitment. This person may not think consciously that he/she is unlovable, but will be fearful that if he/she stays with a potential partner long enough, the partner might get to know him/her well enough to discover that they are indeed unlovable.
Our work will:
- Target these Unconscious beliefs. We will explore the relationships and experiences where these beliefs originated, and your internalized interpretations of these experiences.
- Change the habituated patterns of thoughts and feelings that are keeping you stuck in a low perception of yourself. For example: Whenever your partner works late, your internal dialogue begins about how he doesn’t care about you because you are unlovable, which leads to a feeling of worthlessness and a body sensation of heaviness, lethargy and fogginess.
- Re-allign you with who YOU really are – your strengths, your gifts, and what brings you joy.
It would be my honour to support you on this important journey!
Recommended length of therapy: 4-10 sessions
Fee $140 per hour
Contact me for a FREE consultation.